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Intimacy from the Inside Out: Courage and Compassion in Couple Therapy, by Toni Herbine-Blank, Donna M. Kerpelman, Martha Sweezy
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Couples in distress enter therapy holding two goals that they now experience as mutually exclusive: to feel loved and to feel understood. Toni Herbine-Blank’s powerful new brand of couple therapy, Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO), offers a comprehensive conceptual map for achieving both goals. In a tour de force of elegant case illustrations wrapped around clear instruction, this book shows the IFIO therapist working with the natural subdivisions – or parts – of the human mind in a dyad, guiding and supporting couples to understand how they project childhood injury into current relationships and then, feeling threatened, frustrated and angry, lose track of their underlying needs to feel safe, connected and loved. With a focus on generating internal attachment stability to sustain each partner through the moments when the other is unavailable, couples in IFIO therapy reconnect with their essential needs, change their conversations and learn to make requests that invite rather than threaten in order to get those needs met.
- Sales Rank: #446687 in Books
- Published on: 2015-08-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x .60" w x 6.00" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 206 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
A must read for all couple therapists
By Cathy Curtis
This is a powerful and profound book. It is a guide into the world of couple work that is simple, clear, easy to read, and compelling.
Toni and her co-authors present the reader with a therapy concept and then show how to use it through written dialog from actual sessions. These sessions show Toni to be a compassionate, direct clinician who skillfully helps her clients into difficult or often hidden terrain. The book shows how this work leads to healing in each individual and in the couple and it clearly lays out the steps of how to achieve this. Reading this book has already benefited my work with couples. I highly recommend it.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Highly Recommended and Easy to Follow Read on Working with Couples
By John Palmer
Well written and easy to follow manual on applying Internal Family Systems Therapy to working with couples. One of the things I liked best is that Toni, et. al. operationalize the steps in working with couples in an easy to follow manner. They guide you through the processes of joining with the couple, tracking the couple dance,and helping the couple get underneath their protective covers and connect with their needs and vulnerabilities which allows for improved communication and relational healing. I was very impressed with the authors' perspective on shame and how to understand its affects on the couple's relationship. They describe shame as a two part process with both a shamer and the shamed--but not just between partners but also happening within each partner! I've been working with couples for 20+ years and this book is one of the best I've read. Even if you are unfamiliar with the Internal Family Systems model of therapy, I suspect this book will still deepen your understanding on working with couples and it will provide you with the tools needed to guide you through the treatment process.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
cogently and with great insight into the complexity of working with couples
By BB
Loving this book! Toni and her co-authors present the material clearly, cogently and with great insight into the complexity of working with couples. The book is extremely well written making it easy to connect theory with practice and many helpful, practical tips. A great guide for therapists working with couples or individuals working with relationship issues.
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